She loves me.. She loves me not..

"Do you love me?", Sara asked Rohan outside the coffee shop at the airport while sipping black coffee

It was June 2010, when Zac Nelson, Angeline Mc'Cliff and Sarah Tiffany graduated from Seneca College, spent a long time of their lives together and with bright ideas in minds for their actual professional life.

"Where do you intend to continue your studies?", Angeline asked Zac at the farewell party of the college. Angeline has always been too close to him and they always found together doing anything in the premises or out in the world. They were childhood friends and even studied together, they both shared everything of their lives with each other and helped each other in every hard time of their lives, as they are graduating she asked this to accompany him in his professional life too.
"Tyndale, I intend to continue my studies at Tyndale University," he answered. "Oh! that's cool, I would take admission in the same then," Angeline replied. "Hahahaha, I knew this! When will you leave me bitch?", Zac said gibing. "Oh never, I will never leave you alone huh!", she replied laughing when Sarah called him to the poolside.

He saw Sarah moving with a stud in the corridor and a bit shocked, but more happy to see her in the same university after about a week. "I saw Sarah moving in the corridor this morning," Zac messaged Angeline from the cafeteria when she was taking some class. "Oh! so that lady is here? But why come she took admission in this university? Ahaan! For you Zac for you," Angeline teased Zac the same night chatting on Facebook."So you finally start bitching again? You never did anything good for me, just sat back and made fun of my feelings, again doing the same huh making fun of my feelings, my love and my happiness, Go and sleep bye!", Zac replied to her emotionally.

He once told Angeline in early college days that he really like the girl wearing black upper and blue jeans with pumps and a medium sized black handbag moving with couple of her friends of another section and asked her to collect any possible information about her and amazed to know every details of that girl from Angeline. She and Zac become friends in actually a very short time. Angeline teases him at times, but that was all fun and nobody took that serious. "Can we be friends?", Zac asked Sarah after some meetings after the class and some chats on Facebook. Sarah was mild egoistic and a high class beautiful girl who actually don't bother low profile people mostly, but as far as we know the characteristic of men, he needs someone somewhere in their life to accompany or we may say to time pass with. "Yeah sure, weren't we before? Actually, I like you as a person, you are simple and sweet just as my other friends are," Sarah's reply was unexpected and become the conclusion of Zac's feelings for her, he started assuming that she loves him as he does with all her heart."Sarah likes me too," he told Angeline the same night."Oh c'mon, she is choosy and an egoistic high class dolt, why come she likes you? She's playing with you and your feelings and will do bad in the future. I know these types of girls, they're all alike," Angeline replied to Zac, perhaps she was right, but Zac's love was blind "Ahh! you started again? She herself told me this and you're concluding this over your own supposition? I love her with all my heart and so does she. I will do anything for her good and for this relationship. We'll live happily and comforted. I will even take admission in the same university in which she would and don't you dare predict anything bad or I'll kill you at your place right now".

"Hmm..he's cool, I would love to be her girlfriend..", she passed an evil smile to Sandy and Kim while watching Rohan Brandy moving to the parking area of the university. "Excuse me, may I sit here?", she asked Rohan the very next day in the class. "Yeah, sure", he replied. After some classes and meetings, they become good friends. Rohan was a friendly and caring person and they become closer shortly. Rohan picking up Sarah for the university followed by many after university events and parties and it was the same routine habit when Zac saw Sarah moving in corridor with Rohan and messaged Angeline.

"College life is amazing I wish it wouldn't end. I got many pearls here that I never want to lose," Zac said to Sarah. "I too love this place, but being professional we all have to move forward for our goals," she replied. "Hmm you are right, actually I want to tell you tonight that you're always right. I adore your personality and you're as closer and dear to me as any other mate," Zac revealed his feelings after a long gap of silence in the farewell party at poolside, but they were not new for Sarah and she took these feelings as normally as anything and replied, "Oh Thank you, I really like you for this. You are lucky enough to have me and Angeline as well". Zac took this statement of Sarah whole wrong, he thought to himself that maybe she doesn't like my friendship with Angeline as we both even overwhelm it a lot, he never shared this with Angeline, but started being a bit reserve from her, though he took everything wrong that Sarah said so this was not too shocking for anyone in the result he cut off himself a bit from both girls for a period of a month feeling guilty to make Sarah upset and not to make Angeline upset and in the meantime expenditure from college and admissions in universities started.

The meetings with Rohan starts becoming informal and Sarah mistook Rohan's friendly statements. She thought that he is taking interest in her and they'd be a couple in the future.

"Oh, that's Rohan! my class mate and a very close friend of mine," Sarah clarified it to Zac when he investigated his insecurity on Facebook, on 22nd December when she was online with her cellphone from airport, to depart her friend, coincidentally Zac too lives near the airport and ought to meet her after this conversation."Oh, I never met him, how is he by nature? I mean in a general way and how much time you've been friend with him? I think he picks you up for the university as well?". Sarah was smart enough to judge Zac's questions. She asked him without any hesitation, "What do you actually want to ask? Are you giving some sort of signs? Or are you blaming me for anything?". "Actually I am sorry you misunderstood me, I am not giving any signs or blaming you for anything. I was just noticing this for a week or two that you're taking special interest in him and being just a bit curious to know about him as I think any of the couple out there share everything while carrying a relation.."

After listening to this Sarah lost control on herself, she never even think of having a relationship with Zac, but after knowing this, she ought to give this thing a quick end before he thinks moreover this, unaware of his feelings, she started "Mr. Zac Nelson, talking to you, meeting you, chatting with you, doesn't create any feelings in my heart, we only like people when we find something special in them or when they attract us that way, we just can't label an overnight friendship, a relationship. I was being kind and generous to you because I think you're as any of my other close friend, but seriously we can't love anyone when we don't have feelings for them," maybe Sarah clarified her own status here.

"I'll be leaving for US tomorrow to meet my family," Rohan asked Sarah at his place while packing his stuff and she arrived coincidentally. It was 22nd December and she wants to express her love for him this Christmas, but after knowing this, she thought to give this a shot same night at the airport. "Oh! I'll be coming to see you off," Sarah informed.

"Oh! sure, the flight is of 23rd December 04 o'clock". He was at coffee shop when she checked her Facebook from her cellphone and all that Zac's scene happened at once and she throws her cellphone away. Rohan was unaware of all this, when he returned Sarah asked him in a glance "Do you love me?" Rohan spit his coffee and was shocked on this question. However, he never discussed his personal life with anyone, but that doesn't mean that his heart is vacant and then started in a mid angry tone, "Ms. Sarah Tiffany, talking to you, meeting you, chatting with you, doesn't create any feelings in my heart, we only like people when we find something special in them or when they attract us that way, we just can't label an overnight friendship, a relationship. I was being kind and generous to you because I think you're as any of my other close friend, but seriously we can't love anyone when we don't have feelings for them," Sarah lost her consciousness over this, she said this to someone minutes before, he continued, "I am engaged with my immediate cousin and we love each other with all our hearts. We were good friends like you and me, but that special attention and attraction factor develop between us and we started loving each other the same day. I am totally her and one of the reasons of my departure is her. I love her a lot and I am sorry for your feelings, but my heart is not vacant. I need to go. Good-bye and Take care."

Since Sarah disconnected Zac opted to suicide and took a number of sleeping pills that started their effect when the room door knocked and Angeline arrived after a long time to meet him and bemused after seeing this all, where as Rohan left for boarding and Sarah returned to the parking area crying and repenting her fate and started driving for her place. "Sarah.. Airport.. She loves me.. loves me.. She loves.. loves me not", Zac kept on repeating this before losing his consciousness and Angeline was trying to get a clue out of this, so she started to drive to the airport but..

"Sorry Ma'am, we can't operate her legs this loss is for her life, forever", Doctor informed Angeline when she brought her to the hospital after an accident she saw while driving to the airport. "Was Zac with you last night? How is he? I am ashamed of everything I said to him and repent the way I treated his feelings. Will he forgive me? Where is he?", Sarah inquired Angeline next morning when she becomes conscious. Angeline came closer to her bed and said; "He saw you for once last night and never blinked again. He left us, he's dead!".

Redlight area.

Take a step to fail this raising factor and a difficult thing to write over in the society and accepted, but as it is also a sparkling factor and nourishing so well and fast I feel to write over it is important now, maybe vision of people in my surrounding changes after this over me, but then I really don't care. Sometimes it is due to the dearness, but sometimes personal interest becomes the end of a character. Though there is a complete dispatch of it in our religion, but when it comes to life no one think over it and become a victim, this happens due to increasing rate of everything, yes everything! This is not a so good thing by any means or in any circumstances, if any of your relative or family member involves in the same what do you do then? Just think for once. There's nothing in this world that if you don't conquer you start selling your body for it and start getting paid for it, is there any? NO. Ladies involved in these sex relationships are not like in any way leave a good perspective, Sex relationships, prostitution or sex working is like end of your personality, your character or maybe yourself. We saw many of the ladies covered in tight black cover-up making her personal assets so clear even after covering it with a black cloth and a small clutch or purse in hand waiting at nights on many of the well- known roadsides with a complete protection by our superlative Police department, many of them are just Sluts or Whore, they do this all for their personal interest, they are not dragged into this, but they adopt this as their profession with don't know what theory in their minds. They sometimes charge too less that even a teenager is able to do the same by adding pocket money of several months and! But why? Because they are not as needy as they show, but they're just thirsty and put off their frustration and depression this way or maybe just to fulfill their wants or interest this way. I don't know what they actually think, have no experience and wish not to have any in future too.

Many of the women are involved in this because they are having serious family issues behind, sharing the feelings of a sex worker in my words,

Husband- Catachrestic or illiterate to do anything, coercionary behavior to work and get paid
Children- Result of husband’s sick love for me (Quantity- no less than 8 and Aged- no more than 15)
Mother-in-law- Taunting or flout + not taking care of my children
Father-in-law- Not anyway allow me to work as a maid, but silent in front of my mother-in-law
Mother, Father- will not accept me divorced

What would be the end? Not enough salary being a maid started selling my body to men at nights or sometimes even in daytime because my husband want me at night and I want to make him feel contented that I am all his property even if different people are playing with me, but am I satisfied with the thing I am doing? NO. Yes I am not satisfied I hate to do sex with men for just a few red currency notes or sometimes a blue note. I hate being naked in front of someone whom I don't even know. I hate getting criticized by everyone in the society for a thing I'm not doing by my own wish I'm dragged into this sludge and I don't know the way out. I started hating my entity for this. There's no way out, is there any? I know this is not permissible in my religion too but..

I don't know if I will feel any sympathy for them. I believe when they are tired of life and they don't know how to get things going in their lives they turn to this prostitution. For someone who gives up in life and sits there and goes "mujhe nahe pata tha mein aur kia karon" - I don't feel sympathy for them.
I know they don't do this to be happy. A woman's dream is to be loved by one man madly, have a house, and have kids and a happy family. Every woman wants that somewhere inside them- most of the time they don't even bother mentioning it.
I don't get it how people can sleep with someone without feelings?

Plastic ka Dil.

Forgiveness, a word, but have a hidden explanation behind. Usually in this era it's hard to get forgiveness easily for something you did wrong intentionally or unintentionally, perhaps because people are getting marble hearted day by day. Anyway carrying a relationship is also not as easy as it seems to, they are actually small scripts written with dust on your and your lover's heart and developing a whole story which need to be protected very conscientiously and carefully, though in these relationships, flirt or love affairs, lovers abide misunderstandings, unintentional hurt and unwanted carelessness, but as there's a reason love in between it has to be solved as soon as it starts, many of the time relationships abolish with misunderstandings and blame, once you start loving someone everything they do you love it and trust, ahh! that's not trust human usually do, but in these relationships they actually blind trust that too not lead to a brighter end, once it's broken hard to trust over the same person again, and all these factors result the end of a relationship.

Intelligence and immaturity is also a part of this end, at the moment there's only 1 out of 100 true relationships are out there, rest are flirts and affairs only, but no one is actually going to concede with this because everyone is so true from his own view. There's a lucid question for all lover's out there to prove their love, What in your view the end of a relationship (the one you are carrying, not those that already started), love affair or flirt? WEDDING? or an UNINTENTIONAL-UNWANTED-MISS UNDERSTANDING? And if and only if you are so true in your love and care for your lover and your affair ended over some misunderstanding then it really left some lessons behind and a grief for your life. In other words, anything in this love-feeling is constructive? There's destruction and destruction only (to some extent). Once it all ends the same person whose everything was so loved and cherished by you, alter into hate? Right? and the line changes itself and cite like this once you start hating someone everything they do annoy you, but wait where that bird of forgiveness flew?

The one you loved by all means and for whom you changed yourself does not even deserve forgiveness? Here, you can see what your love is or was. You neglect many of the rules of HIM and he forgives you, then why not you forgive any of the men? This is not love or anything, but this is playing with the feelings and sincerity of others and being carried away alike is also not good for anyone don't make your heart marbled, but also not treat it as a garbage bin that everyone starts using it. Make it a pot a golden one in which you can just treasure happiness and love not hate or sadness. People out there playing with people feelings and carrying so-called relationships and love affairs need to think over this dilemma this is a not-so-good thing for any one.

Teri maa ki...

Before censoriousness on others, we really need to peek into our own neck-bands what actually those factors are that making our image bad to worse in the vision of other countries and nations, it is easy to fix your character's rubble to others, but there are really few people on this earth who look upon their deterioration's cause and try to about-face this society's intent and try to remove the defectiveness of their own character and not to nourish it again. One of the big causes of our fall is Profanity, this element is clearly visible in every class of our society and the limit is that no one is there to fix it, this is the objurgation, which is until on our heads, advancement of society is far not even an individual will prosper this is a stain on our development a type of spot that everyone deprecate, this is one of imprecation that any of the person's respect get affect, any demure or plainsong person after guessing the other person's nature of using bad words and abusiveness in every next sentence transforms him into the same vessel and now not only individuals, but there are factions out there of the same kind, from elders anger to youngsters delegation and kids frolic profanity is so involved and necessary as oxygen to breathe.

Our youngsters that are proficient and intelligent aside, but by the causal of this objurgation bad sighted everywhere, discipline with elders and the good way of talking with same age fellows is far, our way of talking is so pissed off, starting a conversation with abusiveness and giving the conversation an end with the same is so familiar and detrimental too whether it is alleyway or market or even a multinational company everyone is so like in into this flow of speaking. Scolding a kid to personal altercation or affray until you won't abuse your opponent that matter can never get an end according to modern vision, but the reality is something totally different by doing this act your own antagonist refer you infirm and in the same way it is connected with the same chain that when you cannot talk to a kid with love and to make him understand your point you need help by abusiveness or profanity than you can never be able to talk to your seniors with respect.

Delegated nourishment of this factor is totally hoggish, these types of factors not to thrive in fun is better or even exaggeration of them in delegation is also not good, it's a very negation principle of our era which can as soon can be fixed is better. Islam also prohibit profanity that I conclude by a quote,

"Jab koi gaali deta hay tuo uski qabar mein ek bicchu paida hojata hay"- Hazrat Ali alehisalam

P.S The title is not to thrive profanity it's just to attract your attention over this matter so that you give this nonsense a peaceful end as soon as possible.

Expectations growing older.

Being older is not a sin and is as worthy as anything, one who cross the usual age limit and labeled as "OLD" is the one with tons of experience and knowledge if he earned so. Geezer hood usually starts after late 50s in our era and the actual face of people to you also disclose after the same. Who brought up their children in any better way they want they usually expect the same amicable and amiable behavior from them in their old age towards them, but sometimes this is the beginning of cataclysm, the limpid example of this are the old age homes and rehabs. We usually saw these places on television with an anchor interviewing and interrogating these old age people with affliction and adjuration of compassion to their dear ones to kindly take them back, but may or might these people aren't having that factor of kindliness to the old dear ones by any chance because the aplenty is going high to higher and the increment of these shows as well. These people don't want anything, but love and care alike they brought up their children, but God knows what was left in their nourishment that they're facing this in their most important period of lifetime, maybe to some extent Shakespeare's saying is so true "Expectation is the root of all heartache" they expected good and get nothing but bad,

 

"Mera ek hi beta tha, mene apni biwi ki wafat k baad usay buhat pyar se paala, dusri shadi islie nahi kari k kaheen dusri maa uskay saath sautailapann dikhaye aur mere betay ko takleef puhanchay, magar mujhe nahi pata tha k meri umer k is hissay mein mera beta hi mujhe sautaila kardega", reported one of my meeting with a darksome father volunteering Edhi Home, Sohrab Goth, Karachi.

There's surely no end to the expectations as this is a strong part of everyone's life and it's hard to abolish this, but as others do I would do the same appeal to these cruel and marble hearted people please start being kind, gentle and loving to your old parents or people you live with if they're in the same old age of care and respect.
                                   
                                                    

Another view to the same is truly incisive, it's the view from an orphan's eye or the one who is not having parents with him/her the one expect many things from this world to achieve and to live with, but in just a blink of an eye the mountain of expectations vanishes away by any means, by the death of parents, by separation or anything like this, one ultimately become older after any of the thing mentioned, many things of his own life disturbs or changes completely, nature, sense of viewing things, factor of patience, care and sense of responsibility everything changes in a while, but no one can complain about this sudden happening, but here the sense of patience works and the one become old the same way with expectations in his heart. 
                                   

Happy Birthday.

Well, this is not a public post to some extent, but as I'm posting it here it somehow a public post as I started this blog titled What Life Is?, then today's date is so much important for me as it's the birthday of a very precious and important part of my life and the reason behind to post this is as same as I wrote to refresh that part of my life, he's too dear to me, a person with kind heart, but sometimes tries to be hard, but always failed to be, he's somewhat emotional and sentimental at times without realizing himself and when you try to make him feel that how he's that time he sure will contradict with you by any of the lamest excuse, sorry, but this too is a part of him and I accepted him completely with all his faults and flaws keeping his good and best on top which sure covers the bad part of him, he's more like blood to me or oxygen, an important and a must part of my life that sure will never ends until I last. He's a good fighter, I must say because we keep on fighting like every time. I think I am the only one with whom he fights a lot like on every single topic, but these ends as soon as it starts, he's a helper and a great teacher or a supporter to me and scolds me every time like an adult even hit me hard, not complaining though. I expect many things from him and wish to be with this greatest of all friends forever and after, there are some faults in everyone he too have like me, but I request him to please look upon the matters related to me with a broader view and a positive one, I am, but not always the bad. I don't expect you to love and trust me all at once, but I do want you to believe that I will give my whole heart to this friendship, though I already did; and if I make mistakes, as I probably will, no one will grieve over them more bitterly than I. My fault is that I was a stranger to you for a long time, when I want to be your best friend. That is one of my mistakes, and I never repented it more deeply than I do now. Anyway, it's your big day so enjoy it at its peak and try to get every happiness from this evil world and I'll pray that you will get them. Amen.

Loads of Love,
Happy Birthday.
Zain Ali.

Karakti Bijliyan.

Title, seems funny, but actually it's not, after posting some of the sentimental stuff about life I think to post something social and knowing. The topic I want to discuss is moreover a joke than supportive in our surrounding, it's about Eunuch or Hijras, Khusra, Khadray or Chakka. In today's world they are only taken as entertainers and the people who come to greet you and your family on special occasions by dancing, singing songs and their special clapping style or the people to amuse yourself, but in reality they're actually very talented people in their own criteria. They love to see people happy and smiling, did you ever notice the things they say or do than making fun of them? I did. After being curious to know about them, and having some of the healthy experiences with these people I coincidentally saw a project thesis on the same at an art school last month. I saw some of the quoted lines there and noticed that Yes! I heard this before, why did not I take it serious or anyone?

Anyway, they are rather male turned women or having inter-sex (third gender) but this is not about their gender this is all about their respect, their value in the society. According to 2009 census in Pakistan, these people's numbers between 80,000 and 300,000, which is a big ratio, they use to live in groups of 6-12 headed by a Guru, normally the oldest and they not do anything except by earning livelihood performing/dancing/singing in family functions e.g, birthdays, marriages or childbirths. They've no right in public and they often be sighted by not so good view, but why? When do we think for them?

They're bold, blunt and straightforward and always speaks for truth. They always keep their self-respect, ego and self-esteem at first. Though they amuse others, but they never want this by their own, it's the situation and the conditions of our society that leads them to the same; reported one of my short meeting with Raja at Waterpump, Karachi.

Some of the lines that you must have listen in your lives, but never think over them, but now you will, 

• "Haye Haye Baji! Allah ki qasam hum pedaishi khadray hain, humain parhna likhna sikhaogi?"
•  "Aye meri pyari amma, naach gaa k mangna kisko pasand hay, tum koi nokri dilwado!"
•  "Haye mere shahrukh ne khoobsurat suit pehna hay, qasam se is'se acha si kar de sakti hun,mujhse silwaogay?"

You must would think over them now, this is not a public post I am writing, but this is just to wake that sleeping you maybe any one of ten will act over the point that I highlighted. Please stop degrading them, they are just like us, their situation may be different or they have gender issues, but they're humans too. Yes, they are. I am reporting a line that I saw at art school and I heard a same line myself at traffic signal too which surely melt your heart if you have one. 

"Haye meri reema! Hum bhi Allah k banday hain, esay tuo mat dhutkaro, kam az kam humein insan tuo samjho!" 

                            

Insight ♥

Carrying a relationship considered the toughest thing on planet. Maybe it actually is, but I contradict with this. I believe that relationship has a complete new meaning in our society now and it's not as it has to. We're having relationships with everyone in our surrounding, but exposition of it is whole wrong. What about that thing we're having with a friend of same sex? Isn't it a relationship? Actually it is and calling it a relationship publicly is not a sin. 

The people we meet daily of our same gender and label them as "FRIENDS" are truly having a relationship with us and may or might we're compatible with them more than anyone and most of us agree to this. So, when we talk about this congenial relationship there are many of the stuff we experience own self. Being loved by someone is like who on this planet don't like this. It's the best thing that someone can do to you and if it's the same best friend than you get your heaven on earth, but you only know that how much you love or care for the one, but never come to know the same from the diametric side. The situation is alike when you care, you never know the outcome and I think this is not a healthy thing for any relation. Talking about honesty and sincerity does not always ends on the same, it's something you can show by your actions and deeds. No one can ever be loved or cared by words it's all somatic that' should be exposed in any relationship. If you don't like any specific thing about one you've got the right to say it to them, not publicly, but if you attribute something you really need to say it publicly this is the way these relationships flow and the main thing is when you're sharing your life with someone, be courageous to listen your faults as well as your good nature, but our dilemma is not listen the bad side of us and to feel comforted by knowing the good only. Change it seriously, we do have many choices out there to begin relationships, but the one who acts like I described is the true companion of yours, the one who thinks of you before anything is the one who loves you genuinely, your true lover in today's dictionary whether of your same sex or opposite. Do care for the one and please return the love more than you receive before it's too late and you lose the one.      

                                   

They truly are.

By what string they're connected to you? Like seriously ask this question to yourself once.

Did you ever try to think over it? No! Why? Because they never make you feel to think that way? Because they're just too caring for you that you don't even want to think about it? Maybe.

But what if they're not at the place where they're just now? Imagine once. I know it's horrible I just think of it now.

They came from don't know where and after your family they become your world and you comfort yourself by thinking that 

"Yes! I know with whom to share this & I know it would be beneficial getting that person into the matter"

I tell you what my views are on this, they are "Angels" sent by God to protect you and to make you feel happier in this cruel world. They're designated naturally to help and love you after your family. But as characteristic of men, they categorized them into groups which leads to constructive or destructive sight of your own self.

The top it off are the closed ones. They're like oxygen to you, once you start sharing your stuff to them you realize once that you're actually sharing your life with them and the best part is that you're enjoying it and this is the reward of good deeds. This is the person you may say an angel sent from above.

But wait. What about that person who wants to share his life with you? The one who may you call a secret admirer? What to do with that person? How to deal?

I don't know. I really don't know about this. Hope you may tell this after reading this. I'm really blank to write over it or even my mental eye blinded over this.

The less compatible one than the closed ones are also a part of your life don't neglect their presence you may meet new people around and read new faces daily, but what these people are they are your friends. Yes, they're your friends (categorized as Closed, Secret Admirers & Less compatible ones). They're an important part of your life and they do need special attention and care.

While writing this, I got like loads stuff in my mind, but due to some inner satisfaction I did not mention everything over here maybe this is the same we call possessiveness or something like that as being honest I am not getting a word of this mental picture. 

But I just pray to God that may my angels and everyone's stay with them forever. Friends are Angels. Yes, truly they are.

Hate being joke to everyone.

"If someone is happy because of me, what would be more satisfying than?"

Heard this from someone a couple of days back and thought to ask are you sure? WAIT and think for a while. Having this perspective and even delivering this publicly is what? Satisfaction? No? Why? Are there some more ways to cite this statement? Maybe.

I know many of the people who are like this. Not having a bold personality is not the end of your character, you may be far better in some other thing than those who make fun of you in front of all. Being quiet is not the answer of it no one is going to stop or change his character and his view towards you by your silence. Everyone is something in himself difference starts when you show that or not.

    "You are not for this world, this world is for you"

I may be judging this for good and maybe taken negatively, but this is again what? Way to view the statement, right?
Just like this, you are being an object to people and the reason behind is your silence which may be good to you, but actually not.
Speaking for yourself never considered bad. Blunt, Bold, Straightforwardness, etc. have always been a brighter side of a man's personality.
There's a small feeling of your own self of being degraded, of this dishonor, but who cares? Are you working out to solve this? To sort out the matter?
Speak for yourself.
No one is going to change his aspect, tell them you are not an object for them and you hate being a joke to everyone.

He's the one.

After thinking for a long time about making a blog, I conclude that why not give this a try? I consider myself as a weak writer or a storyteller but I think this is the place to make this thing of mine better or to improve it any way. My vocabulary is weak and I don't know many of the terms and I admit it in front of all. I am here to just post my experiences and to get a response on them whether positive or negative. There are many things happening around in any one's life that is somehow related to another person itself. Blogs are usually not used for the religious conflicts by the people like me or might we just feel shy or something like that to share our views on these topics. Anyway, I am not going to start some sort of religious speech or anything but what I wanted to share is that at some point of your life you may realize that there's someone guiding you else than your parents. Any spiritual power or something that always guide you right (maybe at that time not right in your opinion but somehow it is). I was thinking to start a blog but not getting any clear view of starting or not because having no self-confidence in myself to bear any kind of criticism over my writings but then I just started it with a single click and several following it. How? Who gave me this strength, power and courage? What if people find me boring, uninteresting and a bad writer? How would I manage? I think, I have an answer to it. He's my GOD, who gave me this courage, strength and hope to start this and now I assure myself the questions that just clicked into my mind will answered by the Same on the right time. He's the helper. He's the greatest of all, nothing is hidden from Him. He is my real power, my Creator. My God. HE'S THE ONE WHO LOVES ME PURELY.