Taliban Negotiates!

*after a telephone call*

In the hullabaloo of an undecided condition, one of them with a short beard suggested some notable points, rest of the committee members penned them, but the panic never discharged.

The following day none of them slept for once. A shiver of agitation and worry grasped their heads. One of them was so thrilled that he pissed in his pants and couldn’t even manage to wash it and remained on the wet bed whole night.

On the other hand a deep sleep and dreams of white virgins dressed in bikinis gathered four of the six long bearded men positioned next to each other in a single bed.

There was a portrait hanging marked “Father Zia” on the front wall of the room. Two of those six were standing attentively on either sides of the photo with loaded AK-47 in hands.  

In the melodious voice of Lata, “Jago Mohan Pyare Jago” played as an alarm tone in one of those five committee members, that woke their souls up and a new wave of terror encircled them. Meanwhile their sense of olfaction realized the odor of urine hoisting up from one of their team member’s bed.

The morning commence on the other side with the crowing of a golden brown rooster that ended with a gunshot in the head from one of those security guards. Rest of the sleeping members woke up by the sound of that gunshot. Five of them gathered around the same portrait, lit up few agarbati and hung a garland with hands folded to pray and eyes shut. Where one of them was in the washroom taking a bath realizing his shalwar all wet after the pleasant dreams of the past night, but he made his way up till the routinely prayers ended.

After cleaning and preparing mentally and physically all the five committee members fixed in two prados left the lodges, where in the middle of their way, one of the member realized he didn’t refill his ink pen and forgot to put some extra pages, if the opponent team made prolonged points. All cursed him.

On the other side, one of them repaints the marks of prostration on the foreheads with a black skin-friendly poster color, and combed the beards, applied kajal in the eyes and polished the likeable peshawari chappals.

After getting ready they set on their name plated seats in a black and a gray pajero and moved.

Mehsood 2. Maqsood 3. Maqrooz 4. Mafroor 5. Namrood 6. Mardood.

In the midst of the mountains, with an elongated path made for cars to move just by cutting the nearby trees there was a three walled room, with a table of which the top was missing set in the middle and few concrete bricks arranged by the wall.

All the suited committee members scrutinized the room and pondered the bricks to be the seats and get their asses fixed, in the meantime their hearts milled by the gunshots from somewhere near the debris.

It was an entry stunt by the six of those pajero men. Mardood parked the gray pajero next to the conference room, where drive the other one and took his place on the top of one of the mountains to watch the movements in the room.

Eventually five of them entered the room in a way they show the gang mates enter in a Bollywood movie (read: shootout at lokhandwala). The opponents - the committee members were already in a chaos after the gunshots and were all standing by the open side of the room. They entered the room, greeted and one of them hung the same picture on the wall facing the committee members that they were protecting the last night. They bewilder looked into each others eyes, but couldn’t utter a word. Mehsood asked them to be seated on the bricks arranged where he and his teammates kept on standing and examining them.

With another gunshot the negotiations with Taliban begins.

Maqsood initiated with a point of not educating the girls and allowing them to work in a male oriented society. He also admitted the attacks on all the girls till date were made under his surveillance. He described it in a way that after getting enough education they become hard to handle by men and keep on ranting about feminism and their rights. He told the members that his own mother was an educated woman and his father failed to control her, where she proclaimed herself as the house president and then they never succeeded in any decision. She even wanted a doctor bahoo, but his girlfriend didn’t like to study after her matric and due to that his mother never saw his shadi wale hath. In the same view, he was against educating women. 

With the end of Maqsood’s point everyone was crying and given a tissue paper to lighten the environment. Even “Father Zia” in the portrait blew his nose after sobbing bitterly.

Mafroor started with his point to have their own courts, so that none of them will ever face biased punishments. He acknowledged the escapade from the jails of the country of his companions because they were being missed in the gunshot practice sessions and in the late night basement parties. He also shared his childhood punishment when he was held guilty and been scolded for shoplifting a couple of candy bars by his father, where in real his elder brother did that and blamed him, but his father never listen to his explanation that ablaze his need of judiciary in hands. They note the second point.

Maqrooz interrupted this with a memoir he never forgets in accordance to a point he made of not going to Imam Bargahs and Shrines. He had a couple of friends in his area that attended majalis in Imambargahs and went to shrines, but his father never permitted him. He further stated that once in a blue moon when he made his way to these places, he was always overlooked by the person distributing sheermal or gulab jamun, since then he hated the crowd at these places and eager to see fewer crowds so that he’ll get all the eatables. He admitted the attacks been made to these places till date to diminish his childhood craving.

Mehsood stated his simple argument of covering women with a shuttlecock veil and proper men clothing because his father always dreamt of a clothing factory which is now being set up by him and he is keen to cover everyone aptly to fix his factory’s sales graph in a way it indicates just profit. His father will be happy in the paradise ONLY then.

Namrood declared his problem of being the irresponsible child of the entire family that he was always being scolded for, since then he ought to change this status in common. He is the one behind all the announcements made by their organization after every blast and held themselves responsible to change the status. He showed his interest in being the head of the state so that he’ll prove himself more accountable.

After jotting down all the points the five men made, negotiations came to an end with another gunshot. The committee members asked them to respond the demands soon and they didn’t talk a word more. Taliban set in their pajero and left the scene that bring back life to the committee members, after revising the points all of them burst into laughter.

BUT

Mardood who was monitoring them, blew their asses up with the bullets he fired subsequently.

A committee was made for negotiations with Taliban.

The phone rings again..